Are you practicing on a timer? Playing 30 minutes a day, or 45 every other day? Or some other random number?
Take that clock off your wall. It shouldn’t be the master of your practice time.
How much time should you practice singing per day? Here’s a simple answer: Practice as long as it takes, no more, no less.
Why practice thirty minutes, when you can get the job done in ten? Why set random time goals into place, when they have little or no bearing on the results you need?
Aargh!! It’s lesson time and here comes that nasty passage. Your student’s execution sounds no better than it did last week. Or for the two weeks before. Did he even practice at all? Did she just blindly plow through those four measures thinking it sounds fine? No amount of explaining, cajoling, pleading, demonstrating, or drilling seems to make any difference. Another week rolls by, and still no improvement. As a fellow music teacher, I feel your pain.
True Stories. I Changed the Names.
By all measures, young Corey was thriving in the studio. He clearly made superior progress and demonstrated that the work was important and fulfilling. Yet, his parents were too busy to attend Corey’s end of the year recital. Even worse, they couldn’t even find him a ride to the event. The second recital in a row he missed. It was heartbreaking to see Corey apologize for his parents who were busy “doing something.”
Then there was 10 year old Mark, whose innate musicality was perhaps the most striking of any student I’ve ever encountered. Even though he was “borderline” autistic. This, according to his enthusiastic parents, who eventually became too busy with their dual careers to help him through the barriers he encountered during his practice.
When Mark stopped making progress on violin, his parents’ response was to add piano lessons to his already crowded daily regime, in the hope he could excel at a quicker pace on the keyboard. When younger violinists surpassed Mark’s skill level, his parents pulled him out of violin altogether. I can’t imagine how that made him feel, though after years together, I felt as if my own child had been wrenched from me.
Too Much, Baby!
I can’t count the number of students taking lessons who suffer from sheer exhaustion and sleep deprivation. Seriously. As if the real value of their lives will only be determined by the number of trophies, certificates and AP classes they amass before the age of 18.
All of which leads me to believe that Corey and Mark are the real adults in the room. They are doing the work for its own sake, and to the best of their ability. They are producing meaningful results. Even under next to impossible circumstances.
On the Flip Side of the Coin
As a teacher, I truly appreciate the parents that get it right, the parents that take responsibility for providing the right balance between challenge and support. The parents that take a real interest in their kids’ work, and provide appropriate praise and limits.
While most parents acknowledge that an 5 to 12 year old music student will need help and guidance with her practice, only a minority of those parents seem to consistently follow through when push comes to shove.
Certainly, the study of music provides a pathway to personal growth. Surprisingly, this can be equally true for the student and his parents.
Talent is the Least of It
For the parents that do follow through: I love and appreciate you! But don’t expect the rest of the world to acknowledge your work. Most people think you’re just lucky to have super “talented” children.
If there’s any one talent to be valued above all others in a musically aspiring family, perhaps it is a talent for parenting. It’s the knack to provide nurture and challenge in a perfect balance.
Six Laws and the Ultimate Test: Music
Certainly, the study of music provides a pathway to personal growth. Surprisingly, this can be equally true for kids and their parents. For the student, music is a long term project sustained by motivation, perspiration and an occasional burst of inspiration.
As a parent, your kids’ progress in their musical journey is truly a barometer of your ability to provide a fertile environment for your child’s overall growth. It’s up to you to:
What Could be More Important?
If you are the “adult in the room,” you take this list seriously. Doing it right requires more patience, effort and thought than simply signing up your kid for everything and obsessively pushing her to the limit. It may not be easy, but it’s definitely possible; I see it every week.
Follow these laws, and I’m guessing the benefits will reach far beyond you kids’ music lessons!
For young students just beginning violin, there’s much to cover. Bowing problems can usually be fixed, but I find that it’s the left (violin) hand, that can make or break a violin journey. This short video covers the basics. You can download a hard copy by using the free instant download link at right.
Parents: Are your kids just getting started on violin? I’m not going to pull any punches. In my studio, violin lessons can get pretty intense, fast. There’s a lot to remember, and a lot that can go wrong. All of this means that the average 5 to 8 year (and you, as his home teacher) will need draw upon an unusual amount of focus, a reasonably robust physical makeup and some real fine muscle control.
Even something as simple as the slope of a shoulder and the relative position of a collarbone can make holding and playing nearly impossible for some kids until the moment is right. But not all is lost!
So, here’s my short list of necessary activities that will support the first song your child will likely need to learn in a Suzuki (and/or) traditional violin studio:
The honest truth: if your child has significant problems with any of these items her violin journey will likely be short. Don’t let this happen to your family!
This list is fairly basic, but at least one point deserves your consideration:
Set up your kids to be successful from the start. Break down these activities into their simplest components so that every repetition, every practice session, is in some way successful. This is at the heart of the Invincible Violin system.
Add complexity as appropriate to the development of your child. Instill the belief that can meet challenges and continually improve. At all costs, avoid dull, mindless repetition of any activity. Constantly provide your attention and support, provide praise when appropriate, and never offer it when it isn’t merited.
Here’s a website loaded with ideas and tools that can help with early motor skill development.
This stuff is way, way underrated. The connections to playing with a beautiful tone and great technique aren’t obvious to the average person. But a lifetime of playing and a decade of teaching has shown me otherwise.
Parents and kids alike are always super excited to get started on the instrument and learning songs. That’s great, but motivation dies quickly without having these six skills mastered. And that’s sad, and all too common.
Whether it’s baseball, math or violin the fundamentals do count. As parents, it’s our job to give our kids this solid starting point. It’s the foundation of becoming Invincible.
Don’t waste time! If the moment is right to start actual playing, there’s plenty you can do to make that moment shine when it finally arrives.
Have your own “too young” story or question to share? Please leave a comment below!